It’s always a negative!

Many people said I was crazy, and that it wouldn’t work. I truly didn’t want to believe it. However, I now see why they said it. People who go out and break up cannot be friends right afterwards. I thought I was different, I thought she was different. Apparently we are the same. Its partially my fault, and partially hers, although she may not think so. It’s hard to still tell that person everything on your mind. Part its because you think they might get you wrong, or think differently of you because of what your doing now. Although, I haven’t changed, in many ways she hasn’t changed. Although, our perception of each other has, and that seems to be the biggest conviction. Our reception of each other has changed so drastically that we don’t know who each other is. Of course there are friends who try to give advice, some is good some is bad, the hard part is the gardening, deciding the good from the bad. I tried my best to ignore everything that was said about her, because I truly didn’t care. After a time my perception of her changed, and I guess it didn’t agree with me. Just as now her perception has changed so much that now our friendship is null and void. At first I believed it was selfishness and greed. I still believe thats part of it, but I think its more that she loves me for who she saw me as before, and now thats different some how and she doesn’t like it and now doesn’t want to see me. In a way I can understand, if she is going to behave like this, I don’t want to see her either. I guess as time goes on, we can start again as friends once again. The lesson to learn is secrets are a powerful weapon, even if you don’t fire or don’t even believe its loaded, it still can hurt people. That’s the lesson that was learned from this, and I have learned from it, I hope she has learned as well. Possibly not from the same lesson, but perhaps from the same class. There will be a void in my life for the time until we can start again. Part of me hopes that void is with her as well, and part of me hopes there isn’t so she doesn’t dwell on that void and we may start again sooner. To me, forgive and forget is important and should be used more often then not. However, the forget part is much harder to do then the forgive. I forgive her, but I won’t forget for some time, and it sad that I feel this way. I may not be lost, but I still need help finding my way.