As with any break, boredom generally follows, that is if one does not have any money to do anything other than sit on their ass. Spring break is no exception. Generally drinking will ensue because of said boredom.
That’s exactly what happened last night. My buddy Phil and Eric came over last night to shoot the shit and watch the wall. Finished up Borat that we started a few days prior. Then threw “Employee of the Month” up on the wall. Eric had to leave soon after the movie was over, but Phil stayed behind and assisted me in the watching of more Voyager.
Over the course of the night we keep hearing banging and what-nots up stairs. Every once in a while the guys up stairs get a little roudy but nothing too bad so we ignored it, but around 12 we decided to venture up there and see what kinda fun they were having. The guy who answered the door, Tim, was so roasted he was on the verge of being well done, someone needed to remove him from the oven soon or he wouldn’t taste right. They offered us to come in and hang out with them. The first time I had been up there the place looked much different. One of the guys purchased a very nice widescreen LCD TV to spruse’n up their living area. Before they had a setup much like mine, although I must admit I got the ideas from them, when went up to ask them for a cork screw. Well to continue with the topic at hand, our toasted buddy Tim here was getting worse as time went on, he continually wanted us to pay his girl friend, who was smoke’n hot by the way, for him to jump off the balcony. He did it anyways of course, although I wouldn’t exactly call it jumping, more like dangling from the balcony then dropping a few feet. This of course did not impress anyone and I think he started to catch on, after the 5th jump that is. Eventually he started getting in to the “I love you man” phase of very drunkenness. He offers me a beer say’n how cool I was because I wasn’t try’n to hump his girl friend. Truth be told, I wanted to. She was smoke’n hot, a smoke’n hot red head, not a match often made. However, she looked like she was pretty loyal to him, plus I’m not really in the practice of banging another guy’s girlfriend, not if I’ve meet him anyways. Getting off topic now. After some more time passed he started getting into the “I hate everyone in the room ” phase of drunkenness. This is usually the part where he thinks himself or his girlfriend is getting violated or what not. This could be contributed to the fact that his friends tried to feed him a wonderful glass of vodka, vinegar, and some hot sauce of some kind. He did in fact drink it, but wasn’t pleased afterwards. I’m sure his stomach didn’t agree with it later that morning. However, after he drank it he threated everyone that he was going to leave because everyone was taking advantage of his friendship and was yell’n at his girlfriend. Right after that he calmed down a bit, but then started telling his girlfriend to run away because he was going to hurt everyone in the room. Here’s were the topic of conversation comes from. Tim explodes and says “Starting with you” and comes crashing towards me. Seeing how I’m drunk, my ninja like reflexes kick in and deflect him. I am of course holding a beer in one hand and really don’t have time to set it down anywhere. He keeps trying to fight me, but thanks to my new found strength from working out the last few months straight and also I was drinking so the testosterone was flow’n fairly well, I was able to keep him at bay. Everyone was kind of in aw with what was transpiring and was kind of frozen. One of the guys who lives there, I suck with names, was in the pisser when all of this happened; too bad for him because he was pissed he went to piss when he did. After I had subdued him by holding him by the throat Jimmy, a cool Asian guy who lives in the apartment, grabbed him and calmed him down. Even after all the commotion, I was still holding my beer and didn’t spill any of it on myself, can’t say much for Tim or the drapes, but it takes talent not to get it on ones self.
Afterwards that was about all anyone could talk about, mostly because they were all drunk and repetitiveness is generally a common symptom. Apparently no one has ever gotten in a fight in their apartment yet, but there have been holes made in the wall. It was a good time, I still can’t get over the amout of cleavage Tim’s girl was show’n last night either. Anyways, my ninja skills saved my beer as well as making some new friends. It only took a semester and a half, but better late then never I would say. Well it takes two to tango and a some beers to drink.
